Thursday, February 23, 2012

Unity in an economy that's falling apart....

I'm not ashamed to admit that I have posted ads on the "Strictly Platonic" section of craigslist to find new friends or other young parents to hang out with. I got like 6 emails, not including the pervs looking to get laid,  that's all that answered it. I've kept in touch with those few over text or emails but we never hang out or talk on the phone. It just seems like as much as we say we should hang out or do something, nothing ever happens. It's like running into that friend you haven't seen since high school and you both smile and hug and say "we should catch up one of these days" and you both agree but as you walk away you think "oh god why did I have to run into her"... 

Well a couple days ago I posted an ad looking to talk to other young couples that were going through economical problems, mainly looking for guys to talk to so I could get a guys perspective on things.

*I must mention my hubby has been out of work for a over 2 years and we've had to move in with family because we can't survive on my paycheck alone. We've had a lot of fighting and disagreements because of money and him trying to find work or do something productive with his time. Whenever I try and talk about the debt we are in or how we are going to make it to my next paycheck he just huffs and puffs like I just asked him to clean the entire house. He is not good at expressing himself, he gets tongue-tied, just shuts down or just gets mad. He for some reason can never work through an emotion or explain what he's feeling or thinking. So I thought maybe if I got another guys perspective I could maybe find a better way to approach the issue.

Well anyway within an hour I had 22 emails from all these people who wanted to help me! I will say 5 of them were just pervs saying they could make me feel better by doing something naughty to me but the rest were actual people saying they were going through something similar. There were maybe 3 women but all others were men and they varied from mid 20's to late 30's, married, dating, divorced, selling their house, living with family, has a kid or many kids, don't have kids etc...

It was amazing to see the response I got. Not only were there men out there willing to listen to a woman's problems but they were asking for the same. Many of the guys wanted someone to talk to about their problems too and the more I talked with them, the more I found our lives to be SO similar! In a world where the economy is falling apart and families are struggling to stay united, we find comfort in other people going through the same difficulties.

With the "happy-exciting" ad I posted looking for friends to go out and have fun I got maybe 10 emails in a week but with the "need someone to talk to" ad I had 22 emails in just one day! I must say I am amazed to find people gathering together with strangers in times of hardship rather than having fun with friends to get their mind off of things. In an economy where families are being broken apart because of  $$ we find comfort in knowing we aren't the only ones suffering. Somehow knowing there is someone else out there going through the same frustrations we are, make everything seem a bit easier to deal with. Plus the fact that people are willing to listen to strangers and offer help or advice is just amazing to me. Maybe the world isn't as cold-hearted as I thought...

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Strength of a mother...

I used to always look at my sister with her daughter and always see laughter, love and craziness. I saw a normal mother and child just playing, laughing and sharing love.
I didn't see a child who couldn't talk, couldn't walk, who had to breathe through a whole in her throat etc...To me she was a normal kid with some disadvantages like being clumsy or something. To me her medical needs were not huge factors they were just hiccups in life. I took notice of her handicaps for slight seconds in a day, like if she'd sneezed and I said bless you and then just continued on with life.

My sisters house always seemed to be the normal for a mother of 3, messy. It was never filthy but never sparkling clean ha ha come on she had 3 kids! I never paid a lot of attention to the boxes of medical supplies that got delivered, the infusion pump they used to feed her daughter, the prescription bottles, the suction machine they had to carry everywhere or even the nurse that came to watch her daughter everyday. To me her house was just a home, I never saw it as a small hospital.

It's amazing the things we don't notice when it isn't us. I am glad to say I saw my sister's life as normal and happy because that is exactly how she sees it. But it's crazy for me to wrap my head around a percentage of all that she does to take care of her daughter. She deals with so much that I'm surprised she has time to sit and watch a movie with her kids.

I find it annoying to have to schedule my son's dentist/dr. visits as well as mine every year but my sister has to coordinate between a number of Dr.'s just for her daughter. I can't even remember to give my son his vitamin every morning and my sister somehow manages to remember what prescriptions she's got to give her daughter, at what times, when to refill and so forth! I hassle with a nanny while she hassles with training new nurses so that they can take care of her daughter while she is at work. She has truly grown to love her daughter's nurses like her own family and how could she not. They are there for her in ways none of us are. They take care of her daughter, play with her, help her in school, attend all Dr. visits and are there to hold my sister's hand when she needs to cry it out.

There is so much more that my sister does but I'm not going to go all into detail, this blog is just about recognizing the AMAZING mother that she is. I dedicate this blog to my unbelievably strong and courageous sister! I hope to be even a tenth of the amazing, loving, fun mother that you are....